Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize