Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
