how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
