it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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