Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
