so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think a kid would responsible me up
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
