we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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