She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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