Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
