I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
