my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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