i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
this will be a night to untag.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize