I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I smell stomach acid.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i believe in u and ur pee
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize