omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
