her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
