This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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