Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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