apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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