Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
