I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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