i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
