why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
