I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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