I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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