whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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