Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
