can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
