Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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