i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize