maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
