i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
