I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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