Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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