You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize