you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
