Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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