Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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