i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
