did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
