Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
