Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
