But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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