this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
