So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
