try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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