She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
