My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
