I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
