Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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