hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
