Plan B is the new Plan A
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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