get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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