His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Shame is for Republicans.
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