What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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