the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
