I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just pee around me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
