we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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