Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
