so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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