You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
