Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
