i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
