my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
