why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we're making bets on your personal life
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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