well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
