I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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