Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
