I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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