do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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