Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
barbara walters just said penis...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
